Last Weekend (Classes start Monday)

Today is my last Saturday before starting my first classes of med school. Orientation is over, I have my school supplies, and now I'm simply waiting for the assignments to start flowing. A few people have asked how I feel right now, so I will share what it feels like to be in my shoes.

Generally speaking, the time leading up to the start of classes is an exercise in extremes of confidence. The individuals in our entering class are accustomed to being above average through most of their educations, and we are now coming to recognize to different degrees that our former perspectives on our relative intelligence are now outdated. At the same time, we are all hard workers, dedicated to becoming physicians, prepared as well as we could prepare for the next several years of learning.

At certain times I feel like I have some indistinct advantage over my peers; usually after reflecting on some marvelous former accomplishments, astute observations, or my sheer willpower to succeed. Then I recall failures, missed chances, and my heretofore untested ability to master over twenty credit hours a quarter, where getting 70% means failing a class -- thoughts that usually bring my confidence crashing back to the floor. Suddenly my school's 95% pass rate doesn't look as easy as it sounds.

In the end, all that is left to do is rationally think through what I've gotten myself tied up into. I know that in general terms, I am not inferior to my classmates in intelligence, work ethic, dedication nor stamina. I feel at peace with my decision to come here and with the work it will require to be successful, and I have everything I need in order to achieve that success.

In short it feels like I about to jump off the high platform, knowing that at least nineteen out of twenty people survive the fall just fine.