Anxiety and Excitement

So far I have had two dreams about what life will be like being in school again this fall.

In the first, I arrived at school to find that "school" was actually just some guy in his garage talking about health and medicine with nine or ten of us who I guess got duped into paying tuition. This dream did not leave me very excited about the fall.

In the second, my school was this amazing Utopian community with all white marble palaces for classrooms surrounded with beautiful green fields full of eager students walking to their classes. I know, eh? Pretty impressive. To make things even better, when I got to class, and was sitting in the crowd, I started looking around and realized that some of my best friends from over the years were sitting scattered all around me. We had a joyous reunion and were all there studying and working together. I can't imagine a happier way to start off a return to school.

Generally I don't believe dreams should be used to predict the future, but sometimes I think dreams are pretty good at pointing out the things that I am both scared silly about, and very excited about (especially when they are about things that we have yet to experience). In this case, I am scared silly about heading back to class, and also incredibly eager to start this new chapter of life.

Universal Health Care

Janelle was reading status updates on facebook earlier this evening and came across this:

"[Dr. Schauffhausen] is amazed how people think universal health care will somehow improve care. It is just a different form of insurance payments. There are actual things we can do to improve health, and I'm pretty sure insurance has nothing to do with it." {name has been changed}

As someone who knows that universal health care comes with a trade-off, but still thinks everyone should be able to see a doctor, I was really disappointed to hear this. For people in the upper half of society universal health care will not improve health care, because you are already insured. Try living without health care for a year, however, and you will know how millions of Americans live. Any health care is better than slowly dying and not being able to do anything about it.

Despite my knowledge that I will cover some of that cost, I think the trade-off is worth the peace of mind in knowing that everyone has an equal chance.

Obviously this is something I feel passionately about. If this post makes you feel like you need to say something (either side of the issue), I would like to know your thoughts (I'll try to be open-minded).

Stating the Obvious

Ever since I was a missionary, I have found it really funny when things that needn't be stated apparently need to be stated. Missionary rule example:

Missionaries are to sleep in the same room, but not in the same bed."

They make me laugh because I can only assume that somewhere, at some time, it was not quite obvious enough to someone, and so the powers that be had to go and state the obvious.

Yesterday I was changing the sheets and decided to cut off the labels from my pillow (because I really don't like extraneous tags). Here I found a suggestion for pillow care that I had never stumbled across before. Something that I never would have assumed needed stating: Do Not Iron.

Please tell me that none of us have ironed pillows tucked away in our pillow cases. I for one will never make fun of someone else's wrinkly pillows again; really, they are only following the rules.

Sidenote: Getting a scan of this pillow tag is a good example of why I believe it is essential for every home to have a scanner.

Elections: The Countdown

Twenty-four hours from now it will pretty much be over. All the hubbub will be meaningless and, for better of for worse, we will be stuck with someone for another four years. Most everyone has made their decisions, so this might be more for me than you, but it is important that I at least express my thoughts on this election.

I recently came across the election-related thoughts of a person who I admire in many ways, but with whom I disagree strongly about politics (Now that I think about it, many of my family members and close friends see politics very differently from me. Moving on...). He outlined his logic for supporting McCain/Palin in a message that relied only on the potential dangers that Obama poses for the future of America, while acknowledging the almost-inexcusable deficiencies of the Republican ticket.

We need to stand up for our politics and express what we want, not belittle a political opponent and call it voting logic. I am uncomfortable defining myself only by what I am against. Granted no candidate is perfect, and each will have his flaws, but if we focus on what America needs we may find someone who will get us going in the right direction.

I want a president that considers the following:

• The financial markets need to correct their root flaws (I believe both candidates will be similar in this respect)
  
• Health care that gets its moneys' worth (America gets the worst return on its health care dollar of all industrialized countries - increasing the pool size decreases the per-person cost)
• Health care that helps everyone (try living without health insurance for a year and you may see why I think this is important)
  
• Respecting world opinion (Believe it or not, American politics affects everyone in the world, and it is wrong for government to act like it doesn't)
• People from every country have the same value (the loss of an American or a Canadian is no worse than the loss of an Iraqi or a Sudanese person)
  
• Pursuing moral high ground (Iraq? Rendition? Guantanimo? Not for me, thank you.)
• Ever-increasing disparity is not a good thing.

Like I said, you already have your opinions. Whatever they are I hope you get to vote because I won't be able to. Don't take that for granted.

People Can't Stop Changing

Do you ever have times in your life where, over a period of only a few days or weeks you start feeling like a different person? It doesn't happen that often, but that is part of why I've found it hard to get on here and post. There's just too many changes to sum up, but in brief:

• Life's good.
• I'm happy.
• I enjoy the hospital.
• I feel like I have gained new perspective on my life.
• I love my family.
• I love Janelle.
  
• I don't always understand my family.
• Janelle took me to Monster Jam 2008

So, with that said, how can I complain?

Power on my keychain

For a long time I felt bad at the grocery store when I would hand over my key chain. There, dingling and dangling beside my Smith's card was... my Albertson's card. The Smith's employees would all know that I was not a faithful customer. I was spending time with their enemy and arch competitor.

I felt like I was cheating on the store. They had placed confidence in me. We had gone so far as solemnizing our relationship through an exchange of personal information for a plastic card that gives me discounts. I, however, took advantage of their confidence by doing exactly the same thing over at the other store without telling them.

The cashier, with a hurt and confused look in her eye, might ask, "What is this?"

"But I thought we had something special!"

"How could you betray us?"

Normally I like it when people like me, so these thoughts, though subconscious, were troubling. Since recognizing their source, however, it has been a lot of fun. Now I'm in charge in the relationship. If you want to keep me as your customer you better make me happy while I'm here.

I am no longer ashamed by the two cards hanging off my key chain. They are symbolic that I'm not going to go shopping at any old store just because I have gone there before. If you don't have deals, I'll just go somewhere that does! My key chain is a symbol {cue music}, not of shame and distrust. No! It is a symbol of power, of freedom, and of the American Way!

The Holidays

Hello again.

It has been a little while since I've blogged. With work and the holidays and traveling, I just got a little distracted. I hope you've been having as splendid a holidays as I did. I had a truly excellent Christmas this year and hope to have an equally magnificent New Years here in a few hours.

With this holiday season basically over (I get one more day before it is back to the daily grind), I am starting to think about what gifts I'll be giving next year. My little sister said that "[her] presence is sometimes the best present" {me rolling my eyes}. If she keeps up with comments like those, that is all she'll have next year.

I envy those people who manage to get their Christmas shopping done months in advance. It must take tremendous forethought and a very organized person to pull it off.

There is part of me that is captivated by order. Part of that must stem from my not feeling very orderly myself most of the time. Finances, my bedroom, my emails, my schedule, etc. I would be Happy if I managed to keep things more orderly. But I don't, so I'm learning to live with it.

Winter

The first real snow of the year has fallen and it has reminded me how many things about winter I love. Snow is one of those things (even when I spend half my day shoveling it off the driveway). Snow, and especially when it's thick, makes everything just glow. Salt Lake's dark and lonely streets become so much brighter than they are for the rest of the year.

I remember this happening back home growing up: even in the dead of night it would still be so bright because the light reflected off all the snow, and up to the clouds and back to the ground... it would just hang out all night long making the world cheery and bright.

I also love Christmas candies and the associated goodies.
I love coming into a warm house.
I love wearing a coat that I know will keep me warm in almost any weather.
I love snow stuck on the branches of trees.
I love seasonal drinks and flavours of ice cream.
I love roads that are just a little slippery.
And I love other things, but basically I love winter.

Seinfeld was on to something

Remember that bit Seinfeld did about over the counter drugs? Said he, "Extra Strength is the minimum strength we accept. Give me the maximum allowable dosage. Figure out how much will kill me, then back off a little. That's the kind of pain I'm in."

I've started trying to identify when I'm trying to "get more" simply for the sake of "getting more" and it has been fun to revolt against my normal routine. When I do my laundry, for instance, I no longer reflexively select "extra rinse" or "maximum extraction" and I add only the soap I need, not necessarily the amount recommended for deep blood stain removal. I no longer need my clothes to be "more dry" because my clothes feel just as happy (or even happier) when they are just "dry". In fact, "more dry" even takes longer, so why should I select it?

Well, I suppose my improvements are only laundry related, but I'm open to other changes if they cross my path or, if someone tells me to stop being ridiculous in other ways, I'll consider those too.

Earths

According to ConsumerConsequences.com, it would take 6.1 planet Earths to accommodate all the people in our world, if everyone lived like me. That is kind of sad. I like to think that me and good ol' mother Earth are pals. I wouldn't do something to intentionally hurt her either. Apparently I have deluded myself into thinking I'm a fairly environmentally friendly guy. I'm sorry home planet... I'm so sorry.

Priorities, Schmiorities.

I recently watched a 60 Minutes piece that focussed on the international police organization, Interpol.

In it the current director said he felt like America just didn't "get it". While we pay New York City $3 billion per year to protect that city, and Alex Rodriguez $27 million per year (not to have baseball, just to have better baseball),America only gives Interpol $5 million every year.

This is to the organization whose goal is to protect the world from international crime? It seems like we need to figure out how bad we want the things we want.

Anarchists and their Offspring

My friend Dave sent me the following text:

I just realized
how disruptive
a social force
babies are: they
breastfeed, cry,
and defecate in
public all the
time.

He's right, you know.
And that is exactly why babies are anarchists' only hope. If I were going to start an anarchist organization, I would put babies on the flag and on the membership cards of the members because they symbolize so perfectly what we would all stand for.

Contingency Plan

I need a contingency plan. By definition, I don't know if there is any unexpected money coming my way, but if there is, I need to be prepared for it. Because of this, I decided that I need to know beforehand what I will do in the event that I get large, unexpected sums of money.

$0-20 - Dinner for Janelle and I
$20-75 - Clothes or shoes
$75-150 - Clothes/shoes and take Janelle out for dinner
$150-300 - European mutual funds
$300-600 - Custom-made contact lenses
$600-1,500 - Upgrade for my computer
$1,500-3,000 - A used car
$3,000-8,000 - Invest in my not-yet-existent inventions
$8,000-25,000 - A new car
$25,000-120,000 - Savings for my education
$120,000-325,000 - A condo/house
$325,000-1,000,000 - Custom built condo/house
$1,000,000-10,000,000 - 50% Charitable causes, 50% to build a eco-friendly home (wind and solar powered eco-home of the future).
$10,000,000-10,000,000,000 - Give most away to charities. Invest the rest except for a house, car, and a fund whose interest I could live off of.

Well, it is a work in progress. I'll probably change some of it around in the next little while. I know that the odds are against me on actually receiving those large, unexpected numbers, but if I'm not prepared with what I want to do with that money, there would be no point in getting it in the first place, right?

Fiction

I feel almost frantic.

A small but very real part of me really does want to be an author. I almost feel frantic because if all my plans and dreams materialize, I'll be busier than I've ever been before for the next several years and will have no time to write meaningless fiction. Something about it seems very sad to me: I doubt that I'll make make my deadline for writing my masterpiece of insubstantial fiction.

The only real obstacle is that I'm really not well equipped for undertaking such an... ahem, undertaking. I have a hard time developing characters, developing plots, or developing a good rhythm in my writing. I rush when I should go slow, and dawdle over the things that need to be drawn out. And worst of all, I don't really want to spend the time to correct it. I get too impulsive and the ideas just explode out of my mind in an unintelligible mess.

I would really love to be an author, if only I knew how.

Getting to know all about you...

I am occasionally reminded of how superficial most of our interpersonal interactions are. The other day I started talking to this guy who does housekeeping at the hospital. Turns out his family members are political refugees from Ethiopia because his dad (a retired general) was suspected of raising an army to overthrow the government. That was a lot more than I expected.

And it gets me thinking that I probably miss most of who the people around me really are. Most people around me probably miss most of who I am too. It is just the way we interact, but it seems like we probably miss out on a lot of a person when we get the superficial version.

Too many E sounds

I am worried about the future. I say this because we are coming up on a really awkward year to have to say: 2011.

We won't call it "two-thousand eleven." Saying two-thousand sounds cool at first, but after a whole decade of that, we are ready to move on back to the old system. I mean, why did they stop saying one-thousand? It just gets old.

Twenty-eleven's most unique challenge is that it has two consecutive "E" sounds on adjoining words (Twent-E-E-leven). After much thought and soul-searching contemplation, I think the only solution is to start calling the year "Twent-y-leven."

I agree that it sounds weird now, but I think it is going to really grow on us. I'm sure you'll agree with me once the time comes.

The Progressive Nature of U.S. Catholics

I was astounded today as I walked through magazine section of the library in Salt Lake City. What astonished me so was the front page of monthly magazine, U.S. Catholic: "Monkey Business: Why Intelligent Design is Weird Science."

Through my own meticulous machinations, I have made peace with myself between evolution and religion. Apparently, so have U.S. Catholics.

Selected Quotes:
"Evolution and Religion need not be adversaries"
"[Evolution] is no longer an issue that occupies scientists nowadays, because the fact that evolution has occurred and accounts for the history of organisms is certain, just as science is certain that the Earth revolves around the sun."
"From my point of view, Intelligent Design is blasphemy. Almost nothing is well designed."

Selected Links from U.S. Catholic:

Holy Drinking Water
10 Commandments for motorists

Inescapable Malediction

I don't think I ever grew out of the childhood phase of self-diagnosing cancer. I remember running in the field by our school in second grade and, when my leg started hurting, I was sure I had cancer. Nowadays, I am embarrassed to admit, cancer is still usually the first thing that pops into my mind if I ever don't feel good. I don't think I'm a full-fledged hypochondriac, but I hope I'm not creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Dick Cheney (this one's political)

Since no one has been asking my opinion about the whole Dick Cheney speaking at BYU thing, I figured I would volunteer my opinions (as a Cougar alumni and all). I borrowed some of these opinions from NPR call in-ers who also had a lot to say, but mostly these are my own thoughts.

Surprisingly, I am not outraged that Dick Cheney is coming to BYU. If I were President Samuelson, I think I would have done the same thing, but I would be bummed if I was graduating and he was my commencement speaker.

Let's face it, how often does a university like BYU get to have a vice-president speak on campus? Not often. It is one of those honors that are hard to pass by.

"But Dick Cheney doesn't represent the school's values" - No he doesn't, but I am sure that at one point, like Smeagol of old, he was a better man. I think the current administration is as close to fascism as any I am familiar with (which really isn't that many), but I still maintain that he will not be spending his 45 minutes at a BYU podium defending the ridiculous things he has pushed for in DC (which is a whole other discussion). I'm sure his talk will be tasteful, reserved, conservative, and that the words he says will be in line with BYU's values, even if his example isn't.

In defense of Cecil Samuelson, I am sure it was difficult to allow such a divisive and partisan public figure as VP Cheney to come. He was certainly aware that it would cause some waves on campus. But you know what I say, it is better to have some waves every once in a while. It makes the students think more (even if the thoughts are, "Boy it is lame that Cheney is speaking at my graduation").

It also makes graduation more memorable. I graduated at the last Commencement ceremonies BYU held. That makes it less than 7 months ago. I have no idea who spoke at commencement - don't even recall the gender. I wouldn’t forget if the VP were my commencement speaker.

It also gives a greater identity to BYU's leftward-leaning students and faculty - those who don't blindly accept anything a Republican politician says as a good idea. A little common dissent among them will lead to more opinions being shared on campus, and more opinions being shared at BYU will hopefully help to expose some very naive BYU students to the fact that you don't need to be a republican yes-man to be a reasonable and contributing member of society.

The vocal nature of the arguments will also be good in that it will give liberal BYU students and faculty more unity and publicity. It will help to further establish the weaker side of the political spectrum. In the long run, that could be very beneficial because it will prevent political discourse from being so one-sided.

So basically, while the situation isn't ideal, I think there are some overlooked silver linings to the otherwise cloudy day coming to BYU.

Fascinating Things

Cate and I worked together when I was in my last semester at BYU. One day, for the sake of conversation, Cate asked me what inanimate object I was most fascinated by. After a little thinking I came up with two classes of things that I am fascinated by: paper & anything abandoned.

Paper
I think paper has fascinated me since I first learned about the repression of the masses before widespread printing. I remember hearing about how people started gaining access to printing tools and could share their ideas (even the revolutionary ones) quickly through an entire city. I also would sometimes find myself at the mall after school and would itch to go to Wilson Stationers (a Canadian paper supply company) to see all the paper products they had available. I think of blank paper as symbolic of potential. As such, I often have a hard time making the first mark on crisp, new pages.

Abandoned things
I use the term “abandoned things” loosely because I include people in this category. I am captivated by the idea of people abandoning things. These things often started out as highly-anticipated parts of someone’s life. They were synonymous with dreams and a hope of better things to come. But their stories had twists and turns that left them unappreciated and unwanted. Be they buildings, personal objects (going to the dump with dad was like going to the toy store for me), or lives, anything that is abandoned will probably fascinate me.

I want to spend a few days chronicling the stories of people who are homeless. I want to know those stories. I want to know how someone who probably started off in a home with rowdy Christmas mornings and toast before school decides that living on the street is his best option. I would want to make a book compiling the stories if I thought it would sell. Maybe others share my fascination. I would feel guilty about making a profit off the stories of people who were hard pressed to buy a decent meal so I would donate the money to a good place that I had researched.