Immunity Granted

On Tuesday afternoon I was granted immunity. My place on the Island of Safety From Meningococcal Disease has now been secured and, no matter how terribly I fail to make friends and manage the politics of living in this meningitis-free island paradise, I can know that I will not be kicked off.

You're probably thinking that whatever amazing feat I performed must have been nearly impossible to accomplish, and you are correct. Not only did I not cry during the events that allowed me to claim my immunity, I didn't even flinch. That includes the moment of truth: when one of my enemies thrust a sharp spike into the muscle of my left shoulder and injected an unknown substance therein.

Knowing from my eastern-philosophy survival training that a punctured muscle must remain relaxed until the foreign object is removed to prevent muscle damage, I plunged my body and soul into a state of deep relaxation whereunto few beings are able to so readily command themselves. Having so done, I used the power of my mind to expel the offending needle and regain the faculty of my arm.

The nurse claims to have aided me in my travails, but seeing how weak of spirit and mind she was, I know this cannot be. Whatever the circumstances were, I am happy to report that my body is now ready to take on the remaining rigours that the duties of my life entail.