This is Damon

Everyone gets random texts sometimes. I always assume that someone just made up a number to give that weird guy or maybe, overcome by flirtatious feelings, somebody's brain went numb while taking down that cutie's digits. Either way, a few days ago I got a text that I just couldn't help but make public:

This is damon
my dog is
pregnant
thanks to you i
mean your dog
we need to
figure
something 4
child support

There are a few reasons I believe that the text wasn't for me.

1. I'm not aware of any damon's with my number
2. I don't know of any damon's with dogs
3. I don't know of any dogs that might impregnate another dog
4. I haven't met any pregnant dogs
   
5. I don't recognize the number
6. I don't want to be a deadbeat dad - I'll argue this until Montel gives me irrefutable proof.
   

If you or one of your friends sent me this message, please let me know. I like to think that this is an elaborate joke that will unwind over the next days and weeks, but if it isn't, I just need to set the record straight.

Damon, either you have the wrong number or you are way funnier than I gave you credit (or possibly both).